Breathe Out The Sky

Holy crow. To anyone who liked the film Youth In Revolt, read the book! I dont think I’ve ever seen a visual re enactment so ill conceived. It was fine all but the book contained tons of events. Nick Twisp is wanted by the cops for three misdemeanors, he escapes law enforcement and must dress as a women for 1/3rd of the story. In the end he gets millions from an idea he had to make an intintionally unkempt torn watch including a bullet hole in the screen and a hairy wart and shoes imposing as little cars with working front and rear lights, he must live as a women until becoming an unrecogonizable man, which should take some time since hes only fourteen. Hitherto read the book even if you haven’t seen the movie cause it was rather good, I couldn’t stop reading it.

And I’m astounded they left out the very best part of the story. This fat mentally challenged kid Dwayne who moves into Nicks room and spikes his hot cocoa and rapes him. I’m in love with him. Nothing to the light of the angelic Micheal Cera, how I miss your croons through The Long Goodbye. I just wish that I could have the songs in keepsake somewhere.. Ruddy hell.

You don’t know it, but
Sometimes, I go to a hill that overlooks
the landscape’s mask of city lights
For a sip of momentary grace.
On this brink of everything I know, I can gain
An eyeful of the lost Atlantis in the human soul,
And a breath that fills my lungs with the air between two stars
If right now, you
Were to capture this elation
In the framework of your mind,
Or find transcendence through these words,
Then at most you would know
Nothing
Of the beauty your existence throws to me.
For mine has become a love no experience,
No thought, no measure, no words
Could ever degrade into reality by virtue of degree.

I love this effing poem.

I’m not sure if I love you, with the same vapid way I used to. Or if I’m learning to not like you all together. I don’t like what I hear about you. Nothing matters but success in life, but in trying to find that, you’ve completely lost it all. You aren’t happy. You’re like a serious, tired, decrepid old man. And you’re nothing but a boy. You used to let it go, or when you were with me, you let it go. Why can’t you just be. Why does everyone and everything have to prove to you some type of holy alliance for you to give it the time of day. Those people you do love, they’re just like everybody else, they’re just like me. You only let them in because they’ve proven something to you in the past. There are others out there that can do the same thing. You almost let me in. It was so close, then you stopped. I usually don’t stay hung up on something anyone does or says. but you’re the only one I want to save. I could make you happy. The problem is, I know I could. Maybe you know that, maybe you don’t.

Why do you have to be so impenetrable?